Fall 1913

The Eternally Frustrating Orders:
The Par-For-The-Course Results:
I don't even know what to say. It's like you guys got taught how to play Diplo by a bunch of fucking filthy, hacky sack playing hippies, who in turn learned how to play when they all met as children at a really pleasant Quaker school in an bucolic upscale suburb of, oh, lets say Denver.

Builds:
Turkey +/- 0
UK +1
France +1

Suck some dicks you milquetoasts. Take a page out of Cherry's book and actually do something. Grah!

Spring 1913

The Pathetic Orders:
The Predictable Results:

Flying in the face of any sense of logic, gamesmanship or fun, King Benji III and the Marquis du Salmond continue to hold hands, gaze longingly into each others eyes, and not fuck with each other. Turkey alone remains. Grand Vizier Cherry stares into the middle distance, squinting his dusky eyes and grinding his stained teeth, burdened with the grim knowledge that he is the last stalwart defender to stand in defiance of this juggernaut of friendship and bushy-tailed sunshine rainbow feelings that has been trundling it's way across the continent. He has dispatched spies and infiltrators to London and Paris, to whisper in the ears of monarchs and let them know that you need 18 supply centers to win, and there are only 34 on the map.

Fall 1912, Builds & Disbands

Here you go, suckers!

Fall 1912

The Pontificatory Orders:
The Bloviational Results:
Ben: go fuck up Terry
Terry: go fuck up Ben
Cherry: Hang tough brother, you got these bastards just where you want 'em

Builds/Disbands
UK +1
France +2
Turkey -1

Get 'em at me suciers!

Spring 1912, Retreats

Spring 1912

The Pulchritudinous Orders:
The Insalubrious Results:

And then there were three. There you have it folks, Czar Alterio went and bought the collective farm. Grand Vizier Cherry sent Czalterio to the great big nonprofit leftist bookstore in the sky as he buttfucked his way back into Constantinople. "With my last breath I curse Zoidberg!" he was heard to shout. Even as the Sultan reclaimed his capitol Rumania, Tunis and Serbia fell to the much feared Limpwristed Dandy Corps of the great Franco-Turdburgler alliance. Those in the know have been asking each other in cartoonish whispers when that alliance will finally crumble and we'll all get to see the continent tear itself apart in the Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan style slaughterfest we've all been waiting for.

PS Cherry, we need a retreat for the Serbian. He can skedaddle to Albania or Greece.

Spring 1912

Here you go suckers