The Crucsh-Dawg Results:
Bros! Look at this gnarly bullshit! Where to start dudes?
First off, it looks like the notoriously horny Marquis du Salmond just couldn't sit idly by and let Il Rofo just chill there, bending over seductively to pick up his keys or something, with his underwear on backwards. A great order went out to the French forces: "strap on your buttfucking boots and head towards Italy, garcons!"
Italy can't yet be bothered to care, for Il Rofo is still basking in his successes in his conquest of Greece. How happy could a young dictator be? The Turks warmed up that toilet seat, and now the Wops are going to have a lovely opportunity to take a big shit on it. By which I of course mean, buttfucking the ever living shit out of a Greek population that has already become acclimatised to brutal and daily rapes and indignities at the hands of the foreign-sounding and be-turbaned Turks.
Meanwhile, King Benji III has decided to get out of the kitchen and assert his independence by staging some serious buttfucking of his own, this time directed at the Soviet settlements in Scandinavia, who were just minding their own business, enjoying socialized health care, and plotting the downfall of Pax Brittania! Fuck those guys, am I right Benji? In any case, those Swedes better put down the borscht and pick up the spotted dick, know what I'm sayin?
On her southern front, Czar Alterio's Red Army comrades continue their regional game of slappy-slappy with the famously slap-happy Turks. This conflict still seems to still be focusing on the Elian Gonzalez of Eastern Europe, the deposed Archduke Guerra, improbably entrenched in Rumania with a small cadre of elite stormtroopers/sommeliers. When will this festering Balkan zit come to a ripe, turgid head and burst, spraying the continent with the grizzly pus of glory and conquest?
And finally and most unexpectedly, the formerly staid and aristocratic Kaiser Magic von Turley has put down the brandy snifter and picked up the hash pipe, turtleneck, and paint brush. Yes that's right, bru-brows, he has decamped for Bohemia, where a bright future of bongo drums and beat poetry awaits.
I took the liberty of retreating the Russian and Italian forces to the only options available to them, namely Finland and the Eastern Mediterranean. Here are your builds and disbands:
England +1
Italy +1
Russia -1
Turkey -1
Get em in. Blammo!
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